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Angelus's Journal


Angelus's Journal

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15 entries this month
 

losing "Blubberella"

16:18 Mar 29 2012
Times Read: 653


The weather has been awesome since Monday and Wednesday afternoon saw me topless, gardening in the back garden. Well, I say I was gardening. I had actually been raking out moss from the lawn, prior to preparing an area ready for seeding; and doing some forking, which my left knee hadn’t liked very much. Then come half an hour later and I’m in front of the PC working away, when my Dad comes into the back, saying to me, “Come quick, he needs help.” I’m sure he would’ve tried to help himself, but as he said, ‘Your boots were in the way of the front door.” And then, he’d ushered me out of the back door. I’d looked left and right, to see who needed assistance, then noticed the fellow holding the white car from rolling on him, next door but one to the right. I’d jumped over the privet hedge, then across the front of next door. “You need help?” I’d asked, rather unnecessarily, as his need was apparent. “Yes, will you pull the handbrake? There’s a problem with the ratchet and…” I’d gone round, opened the passenger door and pulled the handbrake hard, till I’d heard those two ratchets click home. And, I’d looked through the open passenger door, my left leg on the floor and asked the fellow, “Are you alright now.” He’d tested the weight on his hands and realizing the car was safe from harming him, then thanked me profusely. “Uh-uh, thank my Dad, he saw what happened. He got me.” Now, as Dad had pointed out, it was mid-afternoon and there were loads of people passing, as this fellow with his handheld computer device and packages to be delivered were threatened by being crushed by a car, on a delivery next-door but one and, no-one offered help. And, as I noticed later, the fellow had polio and walked with a bit of a limp, as he left the car there in the drive, while he went to do his remaining deliveries in the area. When I told my Dad about it, he’d smiled when I’d told him how effusive the fellow had been with his gratitude my Dad had smiled. “And, that’s why you do voluntary work,” with a smile on my face. He’d looked at me blank, for a second, then smiled; a little. And hey, he had liked the dumplings I made to go with the chicken casserole I’d made. I went to visit Karl, to find he was going to see Steps the next Wednesday, so I wouldn’t be seeing him then. Well, it was a little later, after admitting I’d lost ‘Blubberrella’; and our search for it proved fruitless, that he saw me to the station and, I realized that it was as cold as it had become. Anyway, that’d meant hot chocolate for me, as well as Dad. Unfortunately I caught myself up in ‘a project’, making a data dvd with the Hyundai discs, which will play with the second dying laptop, but not with the one I use to watch films, while I type, but will play DVD’s made on Hyundai discs. Well, finding it all so very frustrating, I sat and had a smoke, then began watching episodes of ‘I-Man’ second series, as I had typed; until two in the morning, when I’d suddenly realized, it was probably best to head for bed, getting my dishes out of the way first, of course.





COMMENTS

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Damia
Damia
00:43 Apr 11 2012

Sounds as if it were a very interesting day, that day! The Hot chocalate would have been very inviting for me if I had been tagging along with you that day!





 

and then, 'Alcatraz'.

00:16 Mar 26 2012
Times Read: 662


Friday morning I woke muggy: those pills are doing it, I’m sure. And, although I’d felt as I had, one thing sat therein my forebrain, shouting at me, “You’ve missed signing-on!” it’d taken awhile, but I had got my act together and thanks to Dad loaning me the fare, I travelled to the dole. It seemed that one member of staff was concerned for me and, another joked about me not coming in, on their afternoon off. He had got the last wine-gum from a packet that I’d had since the project. I saw a friend in the afternoon on a walk before I saw to tea. From him I’d got some really good shows to watching, one of which was called ‘The Green Man’, with Albert Finney in. I look forward to seeing it. Well, come Saturday we went shopping, as the scaffolding was gone and there were a few odds and sods I knew I couldn’t carry. Then after the shopping we had a tea, the got on with our chores. I saw to Dad’s bed, then edged the lawns and washing down the grime left on the sills at the front and, doing some weeding. After the evening meal we watched a documentary ‘bout Mayans building pyramids, that disappeared from history, until 1880. Then after Dad had put a couple of the clocks forward an hour, he went to bed, while I wrote awhile, watching an episode of ‘Alcatraz’.



COMMENTS

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I got creative

00:12 Mar 23 2012
Times Read: 673


I had started Wednesday going to the doctor’s on a wonderful Spring morning. I’d gone to see her, ‘just to talk’, I had thought. I had ended up talking ‘bout stress and depression, but then talked of a frozen shoulder, lack of sleep and feeling tired, all the time. As it is, I ended up being given a ‘script for Amitriptyline a downer I used to take many years ago, at a much larger dose than this time. Now I’ve been given them again, to ease my muscles, prior to going to bed, to help me sleep. I got home feeling a tad irritated, but fascinated at the progress of the two fellows putting the roof: they’d got the tiles all over the back of the roof by the end of Tuesday and, then by the end of Wednesday afternoon, it was all up.



Come Thursday morning the fellows doing the roof started their tidy-up work shortly before eight, so I woke up with a start, having had a very poor nights sleep. In fact, I’d hit the alarm I’m sure. I can only assume I’d taken the Amitriptyline at the wrong time, to help me. But either way, when I rose I had a coffee, then made my way through to my room, to get my act together. I’d got the dusting done, after getting the back rooms ready for Dad to Hoover. Then, I’d dressed slowly, prior to going out to do some shopping that had to be done, as Dad wouldn’t be able to get the car out, during the week, due to the scaffolding round the ‘ouse… And, the walk to the Azda is about two miles; and during the journey I got my Dad’s favourite chocolate, before getting there. Once at the Azda I rooted round to get all that was on ‘the list’, bread milk, fruit and veg. ie: the essentials. I got home feeling knackered, yet as I walked down the drive, there was Dad using the scaffolding that’d been left there, to access the top of the drain-pipes, to flush them out. Needless to say, I ended up holding a grill beneath each of the sides, as he poured water down, soaking me, when he did the first, claiming it wasn’t his fault… Once he’d finished, I did some brushing-up, then put the groceries away, before resting awhile, prior to getting ready, to go to voluntary work… As it happens, we’d fed meals to about twenty odd and, I’d got home to my cold pizza and beans, with which I got creative.


COMMENTS

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moonkissed
moonkissed
00:29 Mar 23 2012

The joys of spring cleaning.





DestroyingAngel
DestroyingAngel
20:50 Mar 25 2012

Spring has sprung. :)



I used to take amitriptyline after my father commited suicide. It helped me sleep through the nights but the only problem I had with it was that I felt hung over in the mornings and it also gave me cotton mouth like crazy lol.



What really helped me out at that time was Wellbutrin...which also helped me cut back on cigarettes as well. I hope the amitriptyline Rx with the new dose helps you.



*big hugs*





 

a mock risotto?

00:06 Mar 21 2012
Times Read: 675


I’ve got know idea what time I woke up Monday, but it was to the sound of the roof-tiles being removed and, though I’d slept eventually till about eight-thirty, or so, I had risen to do the housework with Dad. And throughout the day, the work continued, till about three, when I decided to make rock-buns. Come the evening, I had got really bad achy knees, really bad, so rested them awhile, prior to Had and myself watching Jeremy Paxman explain how the British made their Empire on the backs of the countries they had initially traded with…



Come Tuesday morning, onna sunny Tuesday morning. Needless to say, I hadn’t been able to sleep, not at that time and, I had been trying. So I’d lain there, my mind dwelling on the merits of friendship, yet again. I’ll swear down, if dwelling were made into an Olympic sport I’d win a gold. That said, I had got to sleep, eventually. I’d woken to the sound of rolling sliding tiles, after going to bed early, as suggested. Then I’d risen for awhile, as coffee was needed and paperwork had to be done. I had gone for a walk at one point, to escape the sounds of the struts being hammered onto the roof. I’d gone to pick up my Dad’s meds, writing poetry on the way. For tea I’d made a mock-risotto with soya mince – it had been good. Come the evening Dad and myself did not get to see the documentary I wanted and, just for a change I managed to deal with disappointment reasonably well. And, he even got his bedtime drink, with a smile…


COMMENTS

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appreciated, goodstyle...

01:05 Mar 18 2012
Times Read: 680


I was awake on Friday to the sound of metal tubing falling: and I quickly recalled that my Father had left the gate open for a reason, the construction of the scaffolding for the new roof.



I had got back to sleep and, when I awoke had to get used to the fact that there was no pattern to the day, so a new one had to be found and, I had to adapt.



My way of doing so had been to create and, in this event had been to become creative, meaning I’d cooked. Having made a side dish of vegetables and pulses, to go with the baked potato and tinned salmon, we’d almost been too full for the apple-crumbl and custard I’d made. Almost, but not quite. Hey, Bramley apples just cannot be trifled with! Crumbled maybe, but not trifled with.



In the evening, I went to a friends, to watch a film with him and, have a good evening. We’d watched ‘Creature’, then some of ‘Sandshark and ‘Swampshark’.



Courtesy of all I’ve encountered of late with friends, it was good to have had the good evening I had wanted.



Then come the late-evening I wrote out a dream, as a story. Having finished the piece and, knowing full-well, I had to get up early to go chicken-hunting; so I’d gone to bed early… well, early – ish, for me.



I got up Saturday at the time intended, though got ready slowly, as I’d been watching an episode of ‘War Of The Worlds’, the early episode I recalled, from all those years ago and, why I’d wanted to see it again so much. For the memory of something that meant something to me, of bringing the show back to television; or, helping to.



I had got out to the walk as intended and, got to The Azda whilst it was still a blue-sky and sunny day, acquiring the chicken my Father wanted, for Sunday dinner.



The only problem then was incredibly sore knees, that even ached a little when I’d decided to put together cous-cous, garlic, onions and peas, as a side-dish to our smoked mackerel: and then come the evening I saw lots of episodes of the series of ‘The Invisible Man 2000’, a show I decided I really like.



“Enjoy the ignorance my friend, it’s Bliss’. Hobbs [‘The Invisible Man’.]



I had phoned up my friend from Friday, to ask him to drop off my green-torch lighter and, a disc that would copy for him, but not for me.



And, knowing he went out about seven, I figured my stuff would be on the mat.



Well, Dad and I had watched a documentary on how the city built by Ramases ll had moved from one locale to another.



Later, much later, as Dad went to bed, I had sat typing in my room, having almost forgotten that the gate that normally blocks access to my window wasn’t there.



And then, there’s been a tapping at the window.



I had pulled the curtain back and, looked into the black, to see who was there: yet obviously, there was nothing to see.



As it happens, my griend Graham had circumnavigated the scaffolding at the side of my home, to tell me: “I was going through the woods…” It’d been apparent from his voice he’d been drinking as expected; “…and, I realised that I didn’t have my lighter on me, but I did have yours.”



Then I’d reached up to the curtain and pulled it back from the small vent window, always open and, reaching out, I’d accepted first the lighter, then the disc.



Now, that’d been the act of a friend… which had been appreciated, goodstyle.





COMMENTS

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"thirteen!?!" **screeches**

00:50 Mar 16 2012
Times Read: 688


I help serve a hot meal from a church door in Toxteth Liverpool for last eleven or thirteen years. for those who Need.



I found out tonight it is probably thirteen years.



And, we served about 25-30 tonight.



COMMENTS

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moonkissed
moonkissed
03:24 Mar 16 2012

Where does the time go?





DestroyingAngel
DestroyingAngel
20:54 Mar 25 2012

I think it's the most amazing thing! Right on for all of your help over these 13yrs...



It's truly awesome of you! Very sweet! :)





 

'Deadtime'

11:55 Mar 15 2012
Times Read: 701


After much delay and indecision the reality of the new roof set in on Wednesday morning, when the wood arrived to give support to the scaffold, that is to go up on Friday. And, I find myself thinking back to the fellow, Mike, who I’d helped so many times, who recently screwed me over, for money, again. What with his action and Rachael blanking me as she has, it’s really been a good week for finding evidence of friendship: yes, sarcasm intended.



Anyways… I went to visit Karl, having already discovered that Birkenhead Central was closed on the Liverpool-line, for extensive renovations. And thankfully, Karl was as ever: heck, if he were to change toward me, Life would end, as I know it. Then again, I can say the same about one, or two others as well. Hell, I’m sure you have an idea who I mean. Anyways… Karl saw me to the station and, one accessed the Chester-line platform, via a temporary footbridge, put together with scaffolding and boards and, seemed to be made of Meccano. As we had walked down the stairs to the platform, I had turned to Karl and said with a smile, “Well, I like the handrail…” And I had; it was smooth to the feel, functional and, looked as smooth as it felt. Come late-on I had some ‘Deadtime Stories’ to watch, as presented by George A. Romero. Now there were three or four stories in each episode and, I had two episodes to watch. Well, you can guess what I watched, for an hour or so, can’t you?


COMMENTS

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DestroyingAngel
DestroyingAngel
20:55 Mar 25 2012

Oooooooh! Deadtime stories. *wicked grin*





 

“Sacked from the Library service, for going on VR?”

00:53 Mar 14 2012
Times Read: 707


Dad and I got the housework seen to, after which I sent an email to Rachael who I’d met at Mandy’s, from Saturday, to see if there was a response to my email from the previous day, when I sent my stories: having got through, I’d left my message, asking them to call back in the evening. Then come the afternoon we went to Aunty Marion’s, to pick up some things of use, which had belonged to Uncle Tommy.

Yes, I do seek approbation from my efforts at times, I know. At the party I’d thought that she had been genuinely interested and, had even told her of why I’d been sacked from the library service, which I’d been placed with, via Pentra, when a member of staff named of Kath McKean had stitched me up, by accessing my password to the systems to the public, whilst taking exception to my choice of break-time diversion, VR ‘a Goth website’. “That’s interesting,” she’d said and, it’s Now that I find myself wondering whether she is a friend of this Kath McKean. And yes, this is all mind overkill for me. And to be honest Now, I almost wish Rachael hadn’t shown an interest in my work, as she had… almost wish I’d not had someone show me friendship and, maybe I’ve been mistaken in learning to be open again; as doing so can lead to this sort of pain and questioning… my mind’s definitely going overdrive on this one. Anyway…



I did the tea, consisting of my fave, fish fingers ‘n pasta with a homemade cheese sauce, served with peas: and, come the evening Dad and I watched documentaries prior to me making his evening nighttime drink. Whilst he found a documentary fascinating, about we could have easily lost at the Falklands, I went to watch some more ‘War Of The Worlds’ series 2, the Canadian show put out by Fox, which I’d been watching on and off through the day, ever since I picked it up from a friend. And yes, I’d said Fox, the company that keeps cancelling shows I like, as I’m watching the series. I went back into the front room, to watch a second documentary with Dad, a Horizon that dealt with how much the conscious mind works, in comparison to how much the subconscious does. I’d found it quite fascinating, as it pertained to some studies of mine, made when I began studying myself at seventeen, or so. Dad had found the programme ‘boring.’ Needless to say, I’d made his drink at ten, which he had before watching ‘Newsnight’, to see a segment on it about Britain could be broke, within a decade. Instead I had retiring to the back to finish colouring a picture, then watch some more ‘War Of The Worlds’, as I typed, prior to going on VR awhile…







COMMENTS

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BlueFiredStone
BlueFiredStone
12:36 Mar 15 2012

certain people do fake taking interest or might not. but women are well known gossiping secrets and most trusted secrets with their female friends that guys trust in them with and the friends of friend since got no obligations towards you had the potential to screw you good.



careful to trust my dear friend.





 

'Payback' ... on VHS

00:36 Mar 12 2012
Times Read: 709


Saturday night I woke several times, with the shoulder in pain and then, the top of my spine. All-in-all, it’s been a very bad nights sleep, a very bad nights sleep indeed. That said, first thing I woke properly on Sunday, I sat to write and, finding the end of the of the story I’ve been working on, whilst in the background my one of my favourite comfort movies played; ‘Payback’, starring Mel Gibson on VHS tape. And, the rest of the day went as slowly as this old body needed… except for when I put the bin out, late on, just before going on VR, for awhile.


COMMENTS

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"Killer Heels..."

15:38 Mar 11 2012
Times Read: 712


10th March 2012



Saturday felt like a Sunday, or so we had thought in the afternoon. And, though I’d felt rather cream-crackered, I felt much better after working on the back garden and ridding it off the moss in the edge of it, which my father had poisoned, then raked it out. I had then made rock buns, after which Dad and I had enjoyed his favourite meal, vegetable soup, followed by toasted cheese. Come the evening I’d gone travelling, to Mandy’s birthday gathering: seeing people there I hadn’t seen in ages and, enjoyed a really good whiskey, or three. Heck, I hadn’t even minded the walk, or the coin for a taxi to town and my train home, as it’d been well worth it, to see Mandy. And, I recall saying to the hostess with the mostest, as I stare at dreams of of four to five inches or so, in black, “Killer Heels” and been assured, “Yes, they are” awhile before they had to be changed.


COMMENTS

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Frellin, Frellin Full Moon...

13:40 Mar 09 2012
Times Read: 718


After housework on Thursday I got my act together slowly and, I went travelling on a pretty fine day, with the prospect of showers. When I got to voluntary work Roger had greeted me at the door, much as he had with a couple of the other volunteers, warning us that a new volunteer was there: “And she’s a bit strange.” As it was, the only thing that was ‘strange’ was that she spoke as though she were deaf: she’d been helpful and willing and, mucked in as best she could, as a first-timer. Afterwards, when Cat had ‘dragged’ Mark and I ‘t pub, for a good pint, we all agreed that she wasn’t ‘strange’. Although saying that, for us to call us to have called her ‘strange’ would have been like the pot calling the kettle black. I got home feeling shattered, to be warned by Dad about the solar storms we’d both read about. Feeling that I needed to look after my PC and my tired body I decided to go to bed early and, not go on the computer. All very well, but it was a full moon and, a very bright full moon at that, so that the sky was almost a light-blue. It certainly hadn’t been dark. Needless to say, I’d not slept well at all and, I actually got to sleep about an hour or so before I had to get up to go shopping with Dad. Well come the morning, we got out before nine-thirty as we had wanted, with each set of lights we got to turning red as we approached; and the Azda was busy, really busy, with a lot of people there being ill-mannered and irritable. My shoulder had felt a little better though…


COMMENTS

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on a Toblerone mission

16:01 Mar 07 2012
Times Read: 722


I had no batteries for my camera Wednesday afternoon, as I went on a Toblerone mission, for Dad... but afterward I was pleasantly knackered, after a good walk, on a sunny blustery day... totally enjoyed it. Yet as I say, I had no batteries for the old camera... they were on recharge.


COMMENTS

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One left to go...

02:16 Mar 06 2012
Times Read: 725


I woke at 6:00 with my left shoulder aching, finally falling asleep again. When I rose to get the housework done I went through to the kitchen and gave my Dad his birthday card and new slippers. We got the housework done and, then he gave me a lift to hospital, for my physiotherapy and discharge. As I got out of the car on a sunny day, with a chill wind, I shoved my hands in my pockets and, found the house keys there. Knowing that my Dad wouldn’t be too pleased I had been pleased that we have a spare set stashed ‘somewhere.’ Well, from there I got the bus to Bebington and then the train home, as the chill wind bit home at my skin. After a brief rest I was off once more, to Birkenhead and my appointment with Keith at Ingeus. And, perhaps it was my sore neck or the limp, but yet again the fellow had said to me, “You should go on the sick.’ And, the same as I’ve done before, several times, I had just smiled sweetly and shaken my head. When the dole ‘dumped’ me onto Workfare they knew what they were doing, of that I’m sure…



My consolation, for the end of Monday, was that I knew I still had one episode of ‘First Wave’ to watch ~ unfortunately, the last one.


COMMENTS

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nevemind the damn freeview box...

01:41 Mar 03 2012
Times Read: 733


Friday night ... an



shoulder frellin aches.

freeview box is pissin me off.

I hate my spine.



AND



leathal weapon is still an awesome movie, nevemind the damn freeview box.



COMMENTS

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Nasonex helped...

20:48 Mar 02 2012
Times Read: 739


Thursday Spring got me. Well, truth be told my sinus had been acting up the previous few days; but Nasonex helped last Autumn. That and treating it as though it were a cold, I’m fine now; well, except for a frozen left shoulder, which I’m exercising. And yes, a damn sore shoulder was an inconvenience on Thursday night and voluntary work, so I didn’t mind, too much. Come Friday, the weather was pleasant, for a second day. So, come the afternoon I took myself out into the garden, to do some weeding. The plan had been to edge the lawns, but Dad had already used moss-killer on it, as the moss is quite prevalent at present. Well, needless to say, once I’d finished, I was whacked. So after making tea, I had rested… felt much better later… and, the shoulder ached a little less.


COMMENTS

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